It started off like any other day. I woke up, I streeeetched twice, I yawned loudly enough to warrant a nudge from my mom's foot, and I tumbled off the bed to await breakfast. As usual, mom did not get up as quickly as I would have liked (was it not HER alarm that woke me from restful coonie slumber in the first place??) and I was forced to leap back up onto the bed, press my cold wet nose against her cheek and lick her in the face until she pushed me away. Could she be any more grateful, people?!
Then she abandoned me with a kiss blown across the air (which I successfully dodged, might I add) and a half-hearted promise that she would return to me soon. "Don't hurry!" I called out after her. This prompted yet another wave (am I supposed to be able to respond to that? Oh sure, let me just whip out my extra set of opposable thumbs that I have hidden here) and the door was shut. I immediately trotted to my place at the window to make sure she was really leaving (for some reason, she interprets this as slightly concerned devotion, and I don't want to devastate her, so I do let her think that), and THEN the fun would begin. Oh the things I could get into! I didn't doubt for a moment that the butter tray was within reach and I would devour that delectable artery-clogging meal in a moment...right after a short nap. After all, this getting up, eating breakfast, and peeing in the backyard thing was exhausting work!
A few hours later, I awoke to make sure the neighborhood was still in good order. Fortunately, no one dared to walk down my block at that moment. I resumed my restful slumber on the queen bed. How thoughtful of my mom to raise the blinds so I didn't have to leave the cushiony goodness in order to see passersby!
She did come home, eventually. She always returns Sunday afternoons smelling like hay and those, those creatures. Biggest dogs I've ever seen! Frankly, I wasn't impressed. Three times my size, but probably a third of the brain power, in my humble opinion. And they're scared of everything! Not me, no siree. Well...except for brooms. And spray bottles. And the heating vent when it kicks on. And this one time I broke wind and it scared the tan right off of me! But that's beside the point.
All in all, the day wasn't a total bust. My mom took me for a short walk and congratulated herself for 10 minutes afterwards for walking me at all. Does she KNOW I'm a tracking hound dog?? We can go for miles! And believe me, I've tried. They usually find me when I get distracted by any human being who will even look sideways at me. Oh it brings my heart joy! LOVE ME!!! So she must have felt bad because later she brought home a brand new squeaker fish, which I have been delighting and entertaining the masses with for the past two hours.
A coonhound's work is never done.